Some guys dance. Other guys woo with their words, promising you a future even if you’ve never met. Derek cooks. We had already been out to dinner and had a tennis date, played tennis for over an hour, and then went back to my house for a cold drink and a snack. Basic stuff. On date number two Derek took me to a cozy upscale Italian restaurant with excellent food. As we were enjoying the meal, he said “By the way, this is delicious.” I nodded. “But nothing compares to my own cooking so we can save that for a later date.” 
I had been invited over to a guy’s house before, but that was long ago, and the dinner was so unmemorable that I don’t even remember what he had cooked.

I do remember that his home was messy with trash overflowing both the kitchen and bathroom trash cans, cluttered counter tops, and furniture and the sort of decoration job that made me wonder if his grandma was living with him and had furnished the place, providing the lace doilies to set the mood.
Derek’s condo was small with an open floor plan connecting the kitchen and living room.  It flowed nicely, and the appliances were stainless steel and new.

Derek's set of four knives goes for about $350.00 on ebay.com and more at Williams Sonoma. And what a difference they make when you're sharing those chopping chores.

You could tell he’d chosen each item with care, and a highly honed sense of good taste. There was a granite breakfast bar in the kitchen with an Expresso machine and a regular coffee maker on the countertop.  This man liked his coffee, and didn’t depend on Starbucks.
The place was contemporary and appealing, with a buttery soft brown leather sectional sofa. Comfortable and expensive.  The walls were slightly unusual, a bluish green that matched some of the accent colors in his rug. He was unafraid of color; clearly this was not a man who lolled around in basic beige. Over the sectional, he’d hung a brightly colored piece of artwork, with more pillows to bring out the bright, airy touches. This was a man who cared about his home and his surroundings.  He obviously enjoyed spending time in it, liked his comforts and took pride in showing it to me. I share the same feeling about my home.
When I arrived, the breakfast bar was set with green stoneware, similar to dishes I had picked out for my place. Soft cotton napkins; polyester need not apply. Candles burning on the sofa table in the living room, and instrumental  jazz to put me at ease. 
Mm. The kitchen smelled like a medley of spices; I could pick out rosemary.
Derek’s menu:

Chilean sea bass (pan seared)
Roasted potatoes with rosemary from his herb garden
Asparagus
Arugula and pasta salad with homemade pesto (basil also home grown)

And a white wine -----(Santa Margherita ’05 available at Costco for 17.99) to go with everything---chilled and sitting in a carafe.

Dessert: chocolate gelato from Whole Foods with a port wine  (Sandeman Founders Reserve Port, $21.99) suitable for chocolate.
Now here is a guy with style and flair, who knows his way around the kitchen. He had gone out of his way to make a delicious meal and create a mood. What could melt a girl’s heart more?  He had set the stage for a rather romantic and fun evening, and he was the first man to cook a true gourmet dinner for me.  It certainly made me feel as if I was very special to him. Let’s face it, effort and expense speak loudly. 
Wouldn’t this endear the guy to you?  Sounds very simple, but if it is this simple, why don’t more men do it?  Maybe they don’t have the culinary skills or the attractive home setting.  Do they lack confidence in their ability to pull it off?  I know I felt intimidated with the thought of reciprocating. 
Eventually I did, and although I never felt as if I could carry it off quite as well as Derek, it was fun and tasty, and he very much appreciated it.  It set the tone for what we did together on many nights---both school nights and weekend evenings in the dark of winter when we didn’t feel like leaving the warm comfort of our homes.  It encouraged  an enjoyment of cooking and provided a shared activity while we conversed over our daily activities.  A daily chore became fun , an activity we both looked forward to. I think it actually enhanced the relationship.
Hey, it’s almost a year now and we’re still cookin’.