First Meet, Last Meet

He wants to meet half way and this is a turn-off. If he's already calculating the distance between us, fearful of making more effort than I'm making in the driving department, what will happen on say, the third date? By that time, he'll have reached a maximum laziness level and I'll have to fork-feed him from my plate.

When he calls, I tell him that after my post-Thanksgiving traffic jam, I'm not in the mood to be driving too far. "What happened to meeting half way?" he asks before finally agreeing to meet me a scant fifteen minutes from where I live.

Now we must find a place to meet. "Do you know a Starbucks?" He wants to stick to the main road he's familiar with, a straight line off the highway to his destination. I ask about a GPS. He doesn't have a GPS. I ask about MapQuest. He doesn't use MapQuest. I sit in front of the computer, talking him through the various Starbucks that pop up on my search, but he's not biting. The main road, Route 77, sticks to his mind like a pimple on the roof of his mouth. "What about a Dunkin' Donuts?" he asks. Pause before I tell him gently that I don't want to meet at Dunkin' Donuts. "I don't care where we meet," he says.

Phone Convos That Make You Want to Hang Up

That first phone call from a man you’re contemplating meeting can be as comforting as a soothing foot massage. Or it can be the bleeping warning that to meet this guy would be a monumental mistake, causing you to miss a gym workout or worse —Friends reruns. Here are a few examples, culled from friends, of bad bad phone (e-mail, too) given by guys without a clue.

Reading a Guy

Sometimes you can read a guy from nothing but a phone call. You may even be prepared to like him, especially if he gave good e-mail, took an interest in your profile, and never missed a day of writing. Never missing is a real plus these days with all the ghosters.

Now John sits patiently waiting on my cell phone as I weave through traffic. I've forgotten my Bluetooth and need to be a tad cautious, especially because a walker yelled at me in about the same spot three days earlier for blocking the crosswalk while blabbing on my cell phone. So when John calls, I tell him I have to put the phone down. Then I pulled into a space at the side of the road and leave the motor running, air conditioning blasting in the heat.

First Meet Turn-Offs

First meets are scary, exhilarating, and often disappointing.

Try several of these First Meet turn-offs, especially if you don't want to come off as if you're trying too hard to please. In fact, you might not even want to come off as if you're trying at all. So that you can stick to the No Expectations clause in your Internet dating contract, I've provided these foolproof strategies to discourage, bother or just plain nauseate the other party. Try 'em and you'll be a loser every time. Oh, and these turn-offs work equally well with men and women.

Is Rejection Just the Price you Pay for Being a Man?

He's Cookin'!

Some guys dance. Other guys woo with their words, promising you a future even if you’ve never met. Derek cooks. We had already been out to dinner and had a tennis date, played tennis for over an hour, and then went back to my house for a cold drink and a snack. Basic stuff. On date number two Derek took me to a cozy upscale Italian restaurant with excellent food. As we were enjoying the meal, he said “By the way, this is delicious.” I nodded. “But nothing compares to my own cooking so we can save that for a later date.” 
I had been invited over to a guy’s house before, but that was long ago, and the dinner was so unmemorable that I don’t even remember what he had cooked.

Exercise Makes You Fat? Huh?

By Mary Gold

Michelle Segar, PhD, MPH sounds a bit outraged. She’s read an article by John Cloud, who exercises like heck and still has a doughnut habit; in fact, he’s wearing the doughnut around his waist as he types at his computer. And he’s blaming his doughnut on exercise. Imagine.